The Pride Of MiddleEarth Part II
by shavianne
Summary: A sequel to the unfinished business in the part one… No new summaries here… just read the first part´s summary and add Eowyn, Galadriel, Gollum and Haldir to the list… Also we recommend reading the first part first or you wont get many of the jokes


The Pride of Middle-Earth- Part II  
  
This story is co-written with Phoebe (Check fav authors list for the link)  
  
Disclaimer: As usually we don't own any of the following characters, except Doleannon and Andowen. We strongly recommend you to read the first part of the story, before this one, because they are very closely related and you won't be able to understand many of the jokes. Enjoy!  
  
P.S: This story is just written for fun and it should not be taken seriously. We do not hate any of the following characters. So please, do not sue us. :p  
  
Chapter 1- The Ring is getting heavier.  
  
Voices echo through the fog.  
  
"We are going to die here!"  
  
"I hate this fog!"  
  
"Hei! I think I saw Mt. Doom!"  
  
"Where did I leave my underwear?"  
  
"Shut up, Pippin! You are ruining the plot-line!"  
  
It had already been three days since they left Rivendell. Things had gone smoothly for the Ring Dudes. if to count out an attack of the wargs, meeting with the Balrog. and Gandalf's amazing dive into the mining shaft, where he accidentally broke his neck.  
  
A night after Gandalf's so-called death, the Ring Dudes hold a 'memorial service' at Café Moria. After having a big feast with orcs and the hero himself- the Balrog, Sam stands on his chair, wipes imaginary tears and says: "Yes, good old Gandalf. He was the heart and soul of the Dudes. But now that his gone, we can finally relax and party. Let's get this party started!!!" He jumps off his chair, grabs an orc and starts a dance of polka-line. Everyone cheers and joins them. After the long and exhausting dancing the Ring Dudes sit behind a table in a quiet corner to grab some ale.  
  
Gimli finishes his pint of ale, slams the mug on the table, wipes the ale foam off his greasy beard and says with a loud burp: "I never liked him anyway, he smelled funny"  
  
Pippin: "Yeah. And he ate all my food."  
  
Sam: "So that's why you're so skinny."  
  
Aragorn wakes up from on of his amazing blonde moments and enthuses: "Wow! Gandalf is dead? Why didn't anyone tell me? Darn it, I missed another good show."  
  
Merry whispers to Sam: "Why did we take him along anyway, all he does is daydream about Arwen and becoming a king."  
  
Sam: "Don't look at me? It was those girls who admeasured our company."  
  
Gimli shudders: "Girls. Some Mary Sues end up in Middle-Earth and ruin a perfectly good story. If I had known that I have to go on this mission with a bunch of creeps, I would had stayed home with my momma." Everyone laughs and he asks stupidly: "What?"  
  
Sam: "I just wish that I wouldn't have this terrible burden on my shoulders. The ring around my neck is getting heavier with every day and." He sighs and tries to fight the urge to use the ring. After a long battle with himself he decides to take the ring out and just take a look at it. He feels around under his waist-coat and suddenly his eyes widen horrified. He gasps for air.  
  
Pippin: Mr. Sam, are you all right? Is it the ring? Is Sauron calling for it?  
  
Half pale Sam turns around and looks at him for a second. Then he finally gets a grip of himself and cries out loud: "IT IS MISSIIIIIIING!!!!"  
  
The entire Café falls silent and only crickets can be heard chirping. Gimli rolls his eyes: "Wonderful! Just Wonderful! Good work you nitwit. Now you have done it. I suppose that we have to go back the road we came and search for it everywhere."  
  
The entire company of Ring Dudes stares at Sam with a homicidal face and they start their way back, everyone's eyes glued to the ground to look for the One Ring-TOOO RUULE THEM AAALLL.  
  
***  
  
After two days and nights without sleep Aragorn finally notices that they are moving to the wrong direction.  
  
Aragorn goofily: "Heyyyyy.. Why are we going back to Rivendell?"  
  
Merry says slowly with a dull voice: "Sam has lost the Ring and we are going back to Rivendell."  
  
Aragorn falls deep in to his own thoughts and after five minutes of silence he finally says with a fatal and wise voice: "We didn't lose the ring, did we?" The Ring Dudes aren't even bothered to answer him.  
  
***  
  
A day later they reach Rivendell. Elrond peeks their arrival from behind his room curtains and squeaks: "NoooooOOOoooOOOO! They are back! We are doomed!"  
  
The Ring Dudes enter shyly and "humbly" demand to see Elrond. Since nobody seems to find him the Dudes go looking for him themselves. They find him hiding under his bed and shivering like a frightened bunny. When Elrond notices his unexpected guests, he jumps off the floor and says with a trembling voice: "I. I. I was just cleaning my floor, those maid-elves are no good." Being satisfied with his brilliant excuse, he nods and smiles moronically. The entire dudeship rolls their eyes and then looks at Sam, expecting him to talk them out of his mess. Sam shrinks and stutters: "Err. We. we... have an itty-bitty problem with the Ring." Elrond looks at him and raises his eyebrow.  
  
Sam tries to escape towards the door, but the dudeship surrounds him and he slowly turns to Elrond again. He mutters quietly: "We sort of lost it." Gimli hits him on the head and looks at him meaningfully. Sam screams with terror:" OK, OK! I LOST THE RING!" Elrond stares at him cluelessly for a moment, looks around and says: "Oh right, I knew that."  
  
Authors comments: Soooo, this was freaky, wasn't it. Anna: * waves finger * I hope you read the first part Phoebe: And if you didn't, I'm gonna track you down and feed you to my purple cave-troll. 


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